I'm not a superwoman

It's been quite sometimes since i last wrote here. Time flies so fast i didnt even realize that it's been a month. I dont even realize that now is already August. The year almost end and yet i didnt have any achievement in my life.. sad huh

I've been busy lately with work. For people who know me will knew that whenever i'm super busy, i will easily burnt out. Emotionally unstable, tetiba sedih la, tetiba upset la, sometimes without any reason.

I was removed from my dept and was selected to involve in a very important task force. Huh, at first i thought WTH..but when i was briefed that the task force is reported directly the President, then i know how important it is lah. I can't talk much about this since it's highly confidential. What i want to talk about is how stressful i am since i'm involve with ths project. Yelah, i'm so kiasu i want to be the best in everything that i do, i can accept criticism and comments but at the same time i make sure i improved so i do not received the same comment thereafter.

So for the first 1 month doing that project i'm trying to be superwoman. Siang malam kerja, weekend pun sama. Kesian my husband, aku tak ada masa nak layan dia. Luckily every weekdays nite dia pegi gym so when he back at 10.30, i just prepare hot drink for him and i can continue with my work. At first i feel OK la, very stress but thought i can handle it.

But now come to 2nd months, i started to get tired of this lifestyle or i shud say this no life of mine. Seriously, i cannot tahan. My life only involve 2 aspect, 1 is work until late nite or until everybody want to go back so i have to leave as well since aku ni penakut (trust me Dayabumi memang banyak benda yang pelik2 hahaha) and when i reach home, i continue working until midnite. It's been months since i last went out with friends. I can't even remember when was the last time i went shopping.

So today, i conclude that i'm not a superwoman. I dont have to be a kiasu girl like i used to be when i was single. I got other commitment now. My life is not circle around my job only. I have other life as well. I NEED to have the other life.

So, boss, don't get angry. I can only do my level best. i want to be excellent but not super excellent, i just don't have enough enery for that anymore.